Kids update

It’s been a while since I blogged so I thought I’d give the world an update. I will start by updating about Ella and Frankie, the true stars of this blog (and my life!). Things are changing.

 The kids are changing. I am changing. The house is changing. The dogs, they aren’t changing so much… ;)

 Somehow, at sometime, my kids changed from little preschoolers who needed me for everything, to big strapping elementary school kids, who are more independent and who I actually need to help me with things! This change seemed to happen overnight.

 As much as I worried about them when they were small, dealing with adoption issues and all that, they have turned into fine, well balanced kids. All that worrying for nothing! They are both in their second year of private school – and thriving.

Ella is 9.5 years old and just finished her second term of P3 (third grade). She is all arms and legs and hitting puberty already, poor kid! She is still a very happy go lucky girl who has a lot of blond like tendencies . She can cook and bake independently and continually surprises me at how capable she is. She is a huge help to me.

Frank is over 6.5 and just finished his second term of P1 (first grade). He is still an old soul but has developed into quite a smart ass. He is hilarious! So vastly different from the moody, troubled little toddler he used to be . He is also a very happy go lucky kid and comes up with the BEST one liners! He’s lost all his baby fat and is all legs and big teeth. Like L, he is also surprisingly capable and they both enjoy cooking their own breakfasts every day before school – eggs and toast.

This is such a different stage of parenthood than the preschool and toddler years and school is an entirely new experience for me. I am learning to let them navigate relationships independent of me, yet at the same time give them suggestions on how to deal with things when they’re having problems, and also knowing when to step in and sort things out.  It’s hard to see them get their feelings hurt sometimes, or to struggle with certain people, but that’s life and part of development.

Another challenging aspect of parenting older kids (especially as an expat living in a different country!) is trying to figure out what kind of schooling is best. Homeschool, international school, boarding school, local schools, there are so many options! And it seems that every family “knows” their way is the best.

 I chose to put my kids in a local Christian school for various reasons. One, I had tried homeschooling and as a working mother knew they were not getting the time or teaching they deserved.  Two, if they ever want to attend a Ugandan university, they will need to have the requirements from secondary school, which are very different than U.S high school. Thirdly, they are Ugandans and I wanted them to be able to have a somewhat typical upbringing as their Ugandan peers. To feel “normal.”  Lifelong relationships are made in school and education is a HUGE deal here – far more than in the U.S- so it gives them something in common with everyone else. 

Of course I always question myself and wonder if I’m doing the right thing. The school environment is very foreign to me being as I never attended school myself (homeschooled all through elementary and highschool)  and have nothing to compare it to. So I constantly have to ask my other parent friends, “Is this normal?” Or “What is expected of a parent in this situation?” Also throw in the fact that this is Uganda, not the U.S, and I’m not from here! So yes, I’m still learning how to interact with their teachers and be involved in their education. It’s not as easy as I’d thought!

Another question that I always have is about the quality of education. For years I’ve heard from other expats how terrible the Uganda school system is (their particular country always has the best – wink, wink).  To counter that I have friends working in education (some IN Uganda), who are familiar with the curriculum and tell me that there is nothing wrong with the curriculum, the problem is poorly trained teachers. On top of this I know that Uganda has the best education system in East Africa and kids from Kenya and Tanzania are often sent here for schooling. Plus the fact that all of my colleagues were educated here and are just as smart and capable as anyone else. So I figured Ugandan education couldn’t be that bad… BUT – you always wonder if you’re doing the right thing. So during this school break I have been looking on line for U.S standardized testing, as well as online 3^rd grade material, to compare to what Ella is doing now. So far my preliminary research is showing that they’re about the same. Division, multiplication, fractions, reading comprehension, etc. Social studies is obviously different because we’re in different countries. 

So yes, if I decide to start blogging again the blog will be very different – mainly because my little preschoolers have grown up and I’m navigating unchartered territories again! Elementary aged kids! Sometimes I feel like they have their own lives, their own friends, and I’m just on my own with the dogs! Dog needs never change, I’ve found ;)