Green Thumbin' It

Now that Granny is here, she's started her hand at gardening. She was feeling bad because she hadn't "gotten anything done" after she'd been here TWO days so she took it upon herself to start a garden over the weekend :).

There is something that you need to know about Granny. She graduated with a BS in Plant and Soil Science and unfortunately got stuck in the great state of Montana. Not that Montana is a bad state, but it's not exactly a gardeners dream. The growing season is really short and we have a lot of alkali on our river bed so the growing conditions are rather crappy. Couple that with kids with relatively no interest in growing things, other than grass to feed their ever hungry livestock, and you have a frustrated gardener (then picture the kids hungry livestock getting out and eating her flowers and baby trees and you have a really MAD gardener! I was almost kicked out of the house at the tender age of 15 or so, after my goat ate a baby plum tree).

Now picture Granny, after spending almost her entire life trying to grow things in Montana, in Uganda where EVERYTHING grows, with two interested grandchildren and packets of red pepper and cantaloupe seeds! God doesn' t forget his faithful ones, people... ;)

Bifocals are the bomb!! "Now, just what have we here, children..."

Carefully planting red pepper and cantaloupe seeds

Granny with her audience. Yes, that is my cordless drill laying there. We used it to drill holes in the bottom of the cups! See? You just can't live without a drill!

A bit of instruction for the budding two year old gardener

Easy now...

Ms Dave is quite interested in the whole gardening endeavor. Hope Granny doesn't end up shooting Ms Dave...

Granny explaining to the budding gardeners about how these will sit up here and grow. Ella woke up the next morning and climbed up there in her little night shirt and undies to see if "We have peppers for Granny yet!" Still explaining the concept that they need time to grow!

Love it!

Ella laid all her babies down for a nap and it looked so inviting that I had to lay down myself! Note my book, "She's Gonna Blow!" by Jullie Ann Barhill, beside me. This is a GREAT book if you are a less than perfect mother who ever gets angry with her munchkins (like I do!). Awesome book!

Welcome, Granny!!!!!

Granny arrived safe and sound Tuesday evening, into the welcoming arms of her grandchildren! We picked her up at the airport at about 8:30pm and then didn't get to bed until midnight :).

Since Gran's arrival time was after Frank's bedtime, he got mighty sleepy. After we got home and he got his pajamas on he snuggled down onto Grannies bosom and promptly fell asleep!!

Awwwwww :) Been waiting for this for a LONG time!

Granny brought many cool things for the little kiddos and they are loving their Granny time!

Note Ella's tongue :)

It's already nice to get a little break from at least part of the bed time routine, reading books! NEW books that I haven't read over and over again!

The kids in their new pajamas. Granny made Frankie his and Ella is actually wearing a mumu that belonged to GRANNY when she was a little girl and lived in Hawaii! Gran was clearing out her cupboards... :)

I stayed home from work on Wednesday to visit and care for Gran, who wasn't seeming to be experiencing any jet lag, and then returned to work on Thursday. Wednesday was delightful, catching up, playing with cute, happy, wonderful little kids, etc. It was really heartwarming to see Mom with her dear, nice and well behaved little grandchildren.

Then I went to work Thursday and the picture perfect experience fell apart. We do not seem to be the picture perfect family. We are a little weird.

Luckily Sarah came to work Thursday because she had some work to do at the neighbors. You know it's bad when you get home, EVERYONE is asleep (including both adults) and your five year old wakes up and tells you "we had a bad morning inside. Frankie was crying, I was whining and pouting and I even got angry! And I don't even know why. " My favorite was after telling me all the horrible weird things she and Frankie did that morning, and how she was feeling bad for "poor Granny", she then said, "Thank Jesus we had a nap!" Ha ha!!! We're all praying that today goes a little better! Good thing the weekend is coming up :)

Things like this just remind me again at how my kids ARE different because of their pasts, and that they really are still pretty insecure. Not a huge surprise with Frankie but it did kind of surprise me about L. Mom said that once I left Frankie and L just changed into two different little kids. I wonder how long it takes for a child to feel secure enough WITH their mother around (like mine are now) that they then can feel secure WITHOUT her there (something we're still struggling with, even when it's only Sarah with them at home). I'm praying that they adjust quickly with having their Granny about or it could be a loooooong two months for her!

All in a days play

At the tender age of two, Frankie has already declared that he wants to grow up and be a mom and adopt a baby : -) Looks like he’s getting a head start with this baby monkey! Wanting Frankie to grow up proper gender awareness, I explained to him that “boy moms” were called dad’s ;)

Yep, I’d say that she’s very close to outgrowing our tub!

Ms Dave voluntarily jumped into the back of the Tonka to nibble on some green stalks!

Playing legos with Ms Dave, who doesn’t like to be left out of anything!

Kids, dog, bunny. All we need is a pot bellied pig and I’d say the picture would be complete!

Ella grabbed the camera and caught a picture of her mom with her usual super intelligent look on her face!

Think I have a weird hair cut? Well, I did it myself, a MONTH AGO, and lets just say, relatively speaking, it looks pretty darn good now!!!!! Yes, it was THAT BAD!! It’s okay, I have no pride : )

One of the kids favorite wholesome movies these days is “Mall Cop” so they really like to jump off things now, being “bad guys.” Usually they’re packing squirt guns too. Ella has the tendency to shoot Frankie execution style however, which I’m still wondering about... They don’t do that in the movie!

Two bad guys go a flyin’

I loved this action shot of Sanyu launching herself off the tramp onto an unseen Bridger!

This is Frankie’s bull rider or bareback rider pose! YEEEHAWWWW lil’ Fwankie!
I had to finally call it quits after he started to limp. He said he was fine but then why was he limping? Needless to say, he wasn’t too happy with me!

Big feet, open mouth- that’s my L! You rock, girlfriend! The thoughts of you as a teenager CRACK ME UP! Big feet, open mouth and HORMONES! I can’t wait!

Return visit to the kids and babies at Ns@mbya BH

Last week we had the opportunity to go with Sarah back to Frankie’s babies home (Ns@mbya Babies Home) and spend about an hour there with the kids and babies. It was a surreal experience for me.

While I’m beginning to feel like an old hand at this, two adoptions later, having volunteered weekly at Ella’s babies home (Sanyu BH) for two years and having visited and having close connections with several others, I continue to be struck with the unnaturalness and sadness of a babies home. The more books I read on child development and attachment, the worse they seem.

After returning to Frank’s babies home almost 8 months later, it is SHOCKING to see how many of these little kids just haven’t grown! Eight months in the life of a two or three year old, let alone a one year old, and you should see LOTS of changes. But in many kids, you don’t. This isn’t because they aren’t receiving good care, because they are. Lack of normal physical growth and development, despite receiving good care and nutrition, is COMMON in babies homes.

Many non Africans can’t get past the very “Africanness” of a babies home – No diapers, no toys, no warm water, babies sitting or crawling in the dirt munching on a piece of trash, or a tiny baby sitting alone sipping milk from a cup (usually without spilling, which still amazes me!). Sadly, they think that a more “Westernized” environment will somehow make things better for these little people, not realizing that the majority of little Ugandans are raised like this, grow and even THRIVE in this environment. The element that these youngsters are missing so desperately is a FAMILY – not more “westernized” care. I strongly believe that a child born into poverty is MUCH better off remaining in poverty with their family rather than being put in a “nicer” institution where they’re more likely to receive better health care and education, without their family. I am most familiar with Ugandan run babies homes, but have frequented an other, American run home as well, and each are equally sad to me.

The flip side to this (and one that I was falling for before I brought home my own children) is only seeing loving, happy little children who LOVE you and are totally thrilled to see you and spend time with you. At Ella’s babies home they even had “class” with toys and supervised play, which was much nicer than most lower class Ugandan children have. So you tend to think, “They seem happy, they are well fed and they like to play with me – they must be fine!” Plus, that also lets you off the hook for actually DOING something permanent to help one!

God has privileged me with having these different experiences with various babies homes. Not many of my American or other Western peers have had these experiences nor gotten as deeply involved and sadly, not many Ugandans have either. Out of ALL my Ugandan born friends, NONE had been to babies home before I came along (except those that I met AT the babies home!), and many still haven’t. These are people who are in their 20’s to 50’s!

So, what does all of this mean? What does God expect of me? I still don’t know. Ignorance is bliss and I am no longer ignorant. I do know that my first responsibility is to my children and doing what’s the very best for them. At this point Frankie would not be ready for the addition of another child as he still needs an awful lot of me. But in a couple of years, who knows?

Frankie found us

Frankie started talking a couple weeks ago about how he felt at the babies home. I wondered if he ever really would, being as he was barely two years old when he came out and had “only” been there nine months. He told me, in his stammering little baby voice, trying to find the words, “I was sitting there at the babies home and I was sad. Then I found mom and I found Ella.” Sniff. He found us, not the other way around, in his little baby brain!

Sadness and them finding me seems to be the consistent theme in both of Ella and Frankie’s memories. Isn’t that sad? They were both just babies!

Last week we went back to Nsambya Babies Home with Sarah, to turn in her application and to be her moral support as she starts the adoption/fostering process of one of the little children there. This is so good for both of my children to be a part of.

For our family adoption and babies homes are the norm and all of those who give birth are just odd (our neighbors are expecting another baby in September so L sort of knows the basics of all that but still.... it’s just weird to her ;)! Isn’t that funny? Ella sent me to work the other day with “files” to get signed AND STAMPED by our friend Prossy, so that she could give them to the “officer” (Probation Officer) and adopt her baby doll, Nana : -). We know where babies are supposed to come from!

Sarah’s upcoming adoption has stirred up a lot of feelings in little Frankie however and the week before we went he was super whiny/crying in the mornings with Sarah, and then SUPER snuggly with me after I got home. To the point where he didn’t want to do anything but sit on my lap, poor boy. The day after we went with Sarah to the babies home however, he was just fine and back to his normal self. After we had sat and chatted, looked at files and were ready to go, Frankie practically RAN out down the hall and out the door!

When Ella came home, at three years old, I did many, many suggested attachment activities with her. I slept with her, hand fed her and “bottle fed” her with a sippy cup and soft Nuby nipple, just to name a few. She was READY for it and really enjoyed being one very big baby for the first 6+ months (I thought my poor back would break from hefting her 32+ pounds around everywhere!). After three years without a mom, she was ready for one! Frankie has been a different story, even though he was a whole year younger. He was left “momless” at around 14 months and his abandonment hurt him far deeper. He also hasn’t had as much intensive one on one attention and work done with him and he is just a totally different ball of wax personality wise. He JUST, as of last week, started being bottle fed with a sippy cup and loving it. I tried him shortly after he came home but he was just too uncomfortable with it. Weird since from day one he’s been such a snuggly fella but nope, the bottle feeding was just too intimate for the poor little guy. All this to say, every kid is different and don’t give up on attachment techniques, even if your kid doesn’t respond immediately! Don’t assume that something is wrong with you or your child. Some kids just take time - every one is different!

Old McDonald had a farm...

And on his farm he had some DUCKS, in a row no less – I’ve always liked a guy who had all of his ducks in a row!

This is Frankie thinking “Oh cwap, my ducks are laying in a big heap now. They aren’t in a row anymore .”

I only have ONE WEEK to try to break Frankie of saying “oh cwap” before his Granny gets here. I think it’s kind of funny but I know that his Granny won’t!

Old McDonald also had a rabbit on his farm. A rabbit who either thought she was duck or a black lab who was supposed to retrieve the ducks.

The cow jumped over the moon and Ms Dave jumped over the duck pond...

There is a reason why Frankie seems to be Ms Dave’s favorite kid. That would be her wrapped in the hankie....

Proof that fingers and light sockets don’t go together ;)

Hard to believe that only two years ago this kid was shaved bald!

Great fun is tying the kids legs together with the jump rope. These guys played for an HOUR like this before I insisted on setting them loose! They jumped, played in the sand, walked and swung tied together!

For some reason known only to herself, Sanyu has begun to terrorize the trampoline users. She likes to jump up on there with us when we’re jumping and not only try to bite me, but knock the kids off as well! She doesn’t ever try to gnaw on a child, just me!

Frankie’s conversation with his Granny

The kids got to web cam with their Granny the other day. Granny was trying to tell them about the three new fluffy little chicks that had hatched in her chicken coop. Unfortunately she made the mistake of asking the kids to guess what the surprise in her chicken coop was. Frankie made a gallant effort. Or something!

Granny: I have a surprise in my chicken coop. Can you guess what it is?
Frankie: Chicken poop!
Granny [gamely continuing]: Um, well, yes, but I have something else in my chicken coop! Can you guess what it is?
Frankie: Chicken butts!
Granny Um, well, er... not what I was thinking.....
Frankie: Chicken wieners!
Granny: CHICKS! I have three fluffy little CHICKS!!!!

Yup, missionary children are really a cut above the rest with their thoughtful, spiritual insights into things. I know it gives their Granny great delight to know that her grandchildren are being raised so well..... :-0

I will let Granny explain to him when he’s older that chickens don’t actually have wieners, but that might be a bit much for his little two year old mind at the moment ;) At least he was engaging in conversation with his Granny!

"Studying" and Playing

Got Milk? Ella sure does – all over her face!

We watched “Gifted Hands”, the movie about Ben Carson, the famous American neurologist. It inspired us so that we decided that Frankie needed to wear glasses and start “school” at the tender age of two. Some people just need more time to become geniuses than others and we wanted Frankie to have plenty of time...

L’s giving the whole glasses thing a try too. I mean, it can’t hurt and we’ll take any help we can...


I always snickered at over achieving stay-at-home mothers of toddlers who took teaching their young ones preschool so seriously. Now my own two year old, Frankie, the soon-to-be-genius-neurologist, has started his schooling. I am so intense and serious about it that pretty much he just spends his time opening and closing the pencil box a million times while his sister works on her preschool. We give him a piece of paper to “work on” just so that he feels included. Over achiever I am NOT! And I rather doubt that Frankie will be either ;)

We went to a yard sale over the weekend and the kids got some great new toys. Good toys that aren’t super expensive are hard to find here, my kids LOVE toys, and we got some great ones!

How much more perfect could a little workbench, complete with tools, be for the little H children? Seriously, I couldn’t believe it! These little hellions are always wanting to play with my real tools and now instead of my $150 cordless drill, they have their own to play with!

We also got a beautiful little kitchen set AND several little pans. My kids LOVE, love, love kitchen toys!

And of course we got some little horses... (which Frankie appears to be eating?)

Fun!

Careful Kids

Both of my children are cautious and careful – not a daredevil between the two of them. This makes parenting VERY easy as I very rarely ever have to worry about either of them hurting themselves. This isn’t to say that they’re fearful or insecure children, they’re just careful.

Take Frankie’s method of sliding as an example. I love it! This is so typical Frankie.

Start slowly and safely

Almost there....

Made it. Alive!

He did this over and over again, the exact same way, so it’s not that he was afraid to slide, he was just careful!

If they’re going to do something they’re going to do it right and not hurt themselves. Yes, both like to go sailing off the trampoline but it’s controlled and they’re good at it! Neither has hurt themselves yet!

L takes a bit more traditional approach to sliding!

Then there’s Ella on these monkey bars, looking, well, somewhat like a monkey!

Note Ella’s panicked face – she thought she’d die if she let go and dropped two feet- and Frankie taking it all in

“Hmm, my turn. Gosh it looks high!”

“Forget it. I’ll give it9 a try when I’m taller!”

Yeehaw! The entire fam is getting some quality time with the donkeys!

Ella is really growing into the donkeys! She has a really firm seat, too. Oh how I wish we had our own pony!

Frank sort of balances up there like a hard boiled egg on a spoon. It’s amazing that he hasn’t rolled off yet! He loves, loves, loves to ride the donkeys and the camels!