Changes, changes, changes

So last week, our first week back home from getting back from Kenya, we moved! Granted we only moved next door but it was a move just the same and more work than I'd exactly planned on. Amazing how much JUNK I have acquired in only 1 1/2 years of living in my old place!

My Mom was the instigator of this plan and boy was I glad she was here to help. This new flat is MUCH nicer than the one I was in and since the rent is the same it would have been stupid to pay the same price for a crappier place. The neighbors that were in this new one moved back to the States enabling us to move in. I'd never actually been in it before but a unanimous agreement was made by Mom, Ella (who doesn't really count in my opinion - she'd agree with anything!), Sarah and all of the remaining neighbors that I should move. The floor in this new place is MUCH better, the kitchen is arranged so that we can actually have a table in there and eat in it, and the place is a foot larger. I love it! My furniture looks awesome and I was able to buy some beautiful WOODEN bookshelves so the only wicker stuff left is the shelf that my tv is on. Mom and I took the hacksaw to it, trimming off some "extra" bamboo and it looks great. Doesn't even bug me. Interior decorating with a hacksaw! We also had to take a hacksaw to the mosquito poles on some hardwood beds that were in one of the rooms since we couldn't get them out without doing so.

Another change is that I am taking Mom to the airport tonight and saying goodbye. That's gonna be tough. I'm not ready to see her go! She really came at an important time and has helped me SO MUCH. Oh how I will miss my mom! Last year was pretty rough and she has helped me enormously in recovering from it, dealing more kindly with Ella, helping me move and just being there for me. We have played many great games of Yahtzee and cribbage and it has just been nice to have another adult around to discuss things with and help out. Ella and the dogs are great but when it comes to deep discussions or playing games, um, well...

Ella is really going to miss her Granny. She has been her Gran's little shadow ever since we got back from conference. It's so funny because she reminds me of myself when I was a little kid! I had the reputation of being a little "growth" I was so attached to my Mom. And now to see little L so attached to her Granny is cute :) Mom said she was busy packing yesterday and heard a little voice behind her say, "You coming back?" We have discussed Granny's leaving with Ella and it seems to be sinking in. She was pinching her Granny yesterday which is an indication that it bothers her and makes her a bit anxious and angry that her Gran is leaving. She knows where Granny is going though and that we will be going to visit Montana to ride horses and see Granny and Grandpa next year when she's four. I was actually glad to hear that she was pinching her Gran because it means that she cares that her faithful Gran is leaving.

So Sarah will start watching The Ellster tomorrow. That might be interesting. I'm just hoping that Sarah isn't too soft with her as Ella is more than happy to test limits and try to get away with things (aren't we all!). I am going to make a list of activities to give to Sarah that she can have Ella do since L really needs you to organize her play for her. The kid needs tons of structure, even when it comes to just playing with her toys.

So yep, a new house, Mom leaving and Sarah starting work are the three major new changes that are happening in our lives. Pray for all of our adjustments!! I have never employed anyone before and I want to be a good employer but also get the help I need. All three of these changes have been pretty big for Ella, especially considering she's only been home 4.5 months. The move was more of a stress for her than we thought it'd be. She seems to be settling down with it though, as are the dogs. They were acting a little weird too. We only moved next door, and we did need to, but I would advise anyone adopting children NOT TO MOVE within the first year if at all possible. I simply can not imagine if this had been a "big move" across town, let alone to a different town or State.

Random pics after coming home

Here are some pictures from the last two weeks.

Ella proudly presenting her Sunday outfit. She really only gets to dress up once a week and boy does she clean up well! Loves it, too.

Ella and her awesome Granny. She is SUCH a blessed little girl to have such a loving and commited Granny.

Ella and Granny at the zoo

The Otter couple came right out of the water to look at us! As usual, they put on quite a show, as did a snake in a cage. He was slithering around on the rocks and stuff. Creeped me out but was kind of unusual to see a snake moving about like that.

Ella riding a donkey (Robert) at the zoo. Yes, this is a highlight in BOTH of our lives (me and Ella's - not Roberts the Donkeys)! Who would of thought that Grace the Cowgirl from MT would be SO THRILLED at her childs first ride on a donkey? Little L wasn't even scared either! She loved it!! Little cowgirl in the making I tell ya... ;)

'Nuff said!

Is it just me or do my daughters teeth look funny? Perhaps she picked up something at the zoo? Bridger thought she looked just fine...

Ella, Sanyu and I relaxing. I am reading "Nurturing Adoptions" by Deborah Grey (a must read for any adopting parents!). Ella is using Sanyu for a pillow which is typical Halland behavior.

Cody has finally decided to come and visit us periodically again. I was glad to see that him and Bridger remain good friends

Us in our matching cowboy PJ's that friend Tiffany made us

Ella and her dolls demonstrating my newly learned tequnigue of "How To Entertain Your Child". Simply get a piece of yarn and tie it into your childs hair. This kept Ella entertained all afternoon! Lucky she didn't go cross eyed looking at it though. She loved to dance and watch her string wiggle :)

Sanyu was very glad to see us home again! She climbed up onto the chair to sit on Ella's lap, totally uninvited. By the look on Ella's face you can tell that she didn't mind and that the feeling was mutual. Funny thing is that Ella does not find it unusual to have a "lap dog" bigger than she is...

Enjoying the Indian Ocean on the Kenya Coast

Here are some pictures of Ella's and Granny's first visit to the Indian Ocean on the Kenyan Coast.

L and Gran having a little splash in the WARM Indian Ocean and hunting for treasures

Proof that Ella, at the tender age of three years old, was actually at a BEACH CLUB. Had any of you ever spent a week at a resort beach club when you were three years old? I certanly hadn't!! Well, Ella has one up on us all I guess :)

A cool thing that Granny found on the beach. These little critters were attached to this old coconut shell that washed up onto the beach. These weren't little pinchers - there was something living and breathing inside of them but they were attached to the shell by a worm like thing. Pretty wierd but a cool find, Granny!

Ruth and Paula with the childcare team from Northern Ireland

Ella, Ninnypikkins and Amigo (horse backpack) loved the king sized bed!

Granny and L playing at the Indian Ocean

Ol' Gran's always up to something - here she is showing L how to build. Granny found a bunch of cool things on the beach.

The resemblance is striking. Should I be worried?

First International and Airplane Trip!

Thought I'd post a few pics of Ella's first airplane and international trip. Yep, three years old and an international traveler :)! It was really fun to see her enjoy herself so much. As we were coming into the Nairobi airport she looked out the window, saw all the cars and buildings and said, "Look at the toys!" It was fun to see her delight and enthusiasm over all of the new things that us more seasoned travelers just take for granted.

Ella, her mom and Ninnypikkins on their way to Kenya!

Traveling comrades - Amber, Ella, Granny, Ninnypikkins and Kathryn

One very excited little traveler!

We traveled on over with our neighbor Kathryn and another colleague, Amber. It is so much more fun traveling with others, especially when they know the Nairobi airport better than me. I had never taken a domestic flight in Kenya before so getting from the international to domestic terminals would have been more of a stress had Kathryn and Amber not been there. Not that they'd ever taken a domestic flight in Kenya before either but the more of us putting our heads together and sharing the responsibility the better!

I wasn't really worried about Ella getting through immigration in Uganda since all of our paper work was in order but you just never know when or where people will try to hassle you so it was a relief that everyone did their jobs correctly and honored the official documents that we had. I just love professionalism and when everything works out the way it should!

What We Learned at Conference

Halleluiah, we are back home again! I survived an entire week in Kenya at a conference and am SO glad to be back to my house, dogs and new furniture. It was an interesting week full of new experiences for Ella and she made even more progress in her “development into a normal person” that we’ve been working on. Praise the Lord that my mom was there, otherwise I’m sure that Ella would have digressed quite a bit. Mom is SO good with her and understands exactly where we’re coming from.

I also had some “new” experiences as a new adoptive, single parent of a transracial child. Many people are super thrilled for us both (thank you to those people!), some are downright hostile (shame on you folks – you’re ignorant losers!), it’s so weird to some that they just ignore both Ella and me (whatever – your type are easy to deal with cuz I’ll just ignore you back!) and others have the attitude, “she’s cute! Gonna keep her?” (again – you are an ignorant loser –this is my DAUGHTER, NOT a new dog or kitten, but at least you’re not hostile about it…). And I need to learn to deal with them all (in a godly and mature manner of course. Probably not with sarcastic wit ;).

What Ella Learned:

Ella is learning how to control herself and function in a controlled, appropriate way. There were a lot of other, “normal” 3 year olds there and it was really evident to my mom and me that Ella is just not “there” emotionally or developmentally. And why should she be? These kids have had parents and other siblings to help teach them to make decisions and behave appropriately their entire babyhoods. Ella has not. She has had no one, until now, to help her “buffer her stress” (term I learned from one of my many adoption books) so she gets really overwhelmed and just freaks out. It is therefore, my and my moms job to help Ella take control of herself and deal with the “stress” of new, fun things by helping her to calm down before she freaks out.

Even to a moron like myself it was glaringly obvious that I couldn’t plunk my 3 year old into the 3 year old class with all the other 3 year olds and expect her to be able to function like them. My books tell me to set my child up to succeed so in order to do this I put her in the “baby class” – infants to 2 year olds. I’m so glad that I did this! Her Granny stayed with her otherwise she would have been controlling the soft hearted child care workers from Northern Ireland. She does NOT like the pressure of controlling adults and it makes her unhappy but she just can’t help but doing it. It’s sad. The child care workers thought that Mom and I were total bitches because all they could see was a little girl having fun, then Mom or I coming and squelching it.

Parenting an older adopted child is SO DIFFERENT than parenting a child you’ve had since they were infants. High structure, high nurture is the method most advocated and trust me, IT WORKS. Unfortunately, “high structure” looks to others, and sometimes even feels to myself, like overly excessive control of a child but after living with Ella for 4 months, it is exactly what she needs and what makes her feel the safest. An example of this is when she would play with bubbles. The stimulation and uncontrolled nature of the event was just too much for her. She would start to “freak out” over bubbles and Mom would just grab her and hold her until she could pull herself together . This would of course cause her to cry (causing others to shoot reproachful looks at the joy killing Granny and sympathetic ones to the poor little child who was just having fun) and fight, then cling to her Granny. But this would give her some time to collect herself, then she could continue to play. Other children, especially her age, are mature enough that they can simply have fun with bubbles and they don’t make them flip out with hysterical excitement. Ella does NOT like losing control of herself like this (it makes her agitated and unhappy which makes her want to control YOU because she is out of control herself – vicious cycle) so even though she does nothing wrong, needs to be stopped and helped get herself under control again. PEOPLE DO NOT COMPREHEND THIS, which makes me SO THANKFUL that my Mom does! I am not trying to be a hard or mean parent. I have nothing against bubbles or my child getting excited and having fun. IT’S FOR HER OWN GOOD and I know my daughter better than anyone else does!
Just letting your child “have fun and explore” also does not work with a child like Ella. It’s not fair because she’s not emotionally capable of it, just like a younger baby isn’t. But most people do not realize this and think that because she was in an institution for three years she needs to catch up on her fun and exploration. BUT SHE’S NOT READY FOR IT. And Ella is an EASY child – the difficulties she has are so common to older adopted children and are not extreme at all. My fear of others misunderstanding me is just a sign of my own immaturity and is something that I am continually working on…


Another interesting reaction that Ella had at the beginning of the week to me abandoning her (even if it was with her Granny) is that every time I would come back to get her she would start to cry (didn’t want to come with me), then get a strangle hold on my neck, sobbing. Now this really makes you feel loved, but rather than take it too personally I would just get her and hold her until she could pull herself together. A couple of times she almost bit my neck – not because she’s a mean child AT ALL but because I think she was just frustrated. “Don’t bite Mommy!” is not something that I heard the other mothers telling their children… ;) We (me, my mom and neighbor, Kathryn) think that this reaction was just like we get when we are waiting for someone to come home and are getting a little worried about them. By the time they show up we’re mad at them for being late or worrying us. Makes sense when you think of it that way, only I’ve never been tempted to bite someone on the neck before, no matter how long I waited for them to come home!

Anyway, all of that to say that my Mom was able to help Ella and by the end of the week L was able to function like a normal 18 or 20 month old kid. Not bad! Not to mention that she can function like a NICE 18 or 20 month old kid who can talk really well, is potty trained and is just as stinking cute as can be J. She is a VERY easy child to fall in love with and was the favorite in the nursery.


What Ella’s Mom Learned:

Obviously I learned a lot about my daughter (above). I was also given a taste of what it’s going to be like to be the single mother of a black daughter in a Christian, missionary community.

Being a “missionary” is not easy I’m finding. It’s not about living in a different culture on a different continent that’s difficult, it’s learning how to fit in with the other missionaries, especially the ones in this organization. It’s like a whole different culture with different cliques and unwritten rules on roles and behaviors that are expected of certain groups of people. These range from organization to organization – they are each different. In the branch of my organization the term “family” means a mom (whose sole job is usually to stay home with the kids and cook for the husband), a dad and several children, all who are the same race (Mom + Dad + Children-who-look-like-them = Family). Single women usually live with another single woman or with a missionary family (as described above) and work all the time. Work is WHO THEY ARE. They are not expected to lead normal lives within the community although making friends with other missionaries in other organizations is sometimes acceptable. As is having a few token “national” friends. Transracial marriages are NOT common and often looked upon with suspicion and/or raised eyebrows.

Then throw a happily single Grace and her Ugandan daughter in tow, into the mix. Throw a highly sensitive single Grace and her new daughter into the mix for a week and imagine the kind of week that she had J. Imagine the variety of reactions that they got. Imagine the hurt when the picture of Grace’s precious little daughter was CUT OUT OF THEIR FAMILY PHOTO that Grace had sent in for the poster of all the families in the branch. Grace’s family does not equal Dad +Mom+ Children-who-look-like-them so it is not seen as a “real” family I guess L. It was a real eye opener into the many different views that people (yes, Christian people) have of adoption, race, and families.

It also made me start some preplanning into how I’m going to help Ella deal with things like this as she gets older and begins to notice. My first reaction is to simply keep her away from people who think and act these ways but that is not practical, nor is it real life. I have determined that I will use such people and situations as good examples of “bad examples” of people who are not Christ-like and see people or families only for how they look, not for who they are. Also, how it hurts when we are judged for being “different” and not to do it to others!

The diverse nature of our friends and their families will hopefully be a good example to Ella on how diverse God makes people and families. He loves diversity and we don’t have to feel weird because we are not part of a Dad + Mom + Kids-who-look-like-them family. We are in good company. Our life here in Entebbe is made up of all kinds of different types of friends and families. White couples, black couples, our good friends and neighbors, Gift and Kathryn, who are a transracial couple and expecting their first baby in September, single mothers – some with kids who look like them (Ugandan) and some who don’t (Lisa and her kids, us), and white couples with both white and black kids. No single fathers or black singles/couples with white kids yet J. Must find a white baby for my friend Prossy to adopt…

Many people did express their congratulations and support of our family at conference and it was neat to see the people who did. My favorite was a single gal in her 60’s who had been a single missionary her entire life. She congratulated me and/or mom over Ella just about every time she saw us! It was sweet.

Happy 4 month anniversary, Ella!!!

Today, July 10th, is Ella's 4 month anniversary of being home. I can hardly believe it's only been 4 months - seems like she's been a part of us forever. Sometimes I can't believe how much she's learned and changed in only 4 months, then other times I can't believe how slow the process has been in learning new behaviors. It disappoints me every time she "reverts back" to an old institutional behavior although really, 4 months isn't very long after spending your first 3 years surviving in an institution where that behavior is perfectly acceptable. Poor little tyke!

This is my four month anniversary of being a parent, too. Wow, that sounds weird! Me? A parent? I still discipline in anger (which according to my books is not "discipline" at all but just punishment, which isn't good) and care what people think of me. I do NOT respond well to tantrums in public and when she throws one it makes me disappointed, embarrassed and mad at her. Then I feel like beating the crap out of her so it's probably a good thing that we're in public so that I can't. I'm an excellent parent when we are both in happy moods and Ella is behaving! :)

The Bible says that children are a blessing from the Lord and I must say, it's right! I adopted Ella out of a FIRM conviction that that is what the Lord wanted me to do, not necessarily because I'd always wanted a child, especially while I was under the age of 30. What single person needs a child, anyway? I certainly didn't, or so I thought. Thank God that He knows better than me! Ella has brought so much into not only my little family (me and my dogs), but she has been a huge blessing in the lives of my sister and parents and to many of my friends and neighbors here. I pray that through her life others will be reminded that there are MILLIONS (and that is no exaggeration - there are a reported two million orphans here in Uganda alone) of other children out there, just as deserving as her, that need permanent families. If someone like me could give one of these kids a home then you can too!

We are headed off to Kenya tomorrow for 7 days. Ella is very excited about the plane trip and I'm looking forward to taking her on one for her first time. I think this about a 100 times a day but I AM SO GLAD THAT MY MOM IS HERE! It will be nice that she can be there for L's first plane trip too :)

New Furniture! (and a new house guest...)

Hooray! I got my furniture yesterday!! This is sort of like a rite of passage for me - 27 years old and I have my first set of my own furniture and IT'S NEW!! Does this mean that I'm an adult now? It would be nice...

I also got another house guest last night as well. A very nice family is going on furlough for a year, then moving to Southern Sudan and needed someone to care for their rather pampered indoor cat until they could return for her. I told them that I could if they absolutley couldn't find anyone else to take her. It's not that I mind an extra cat at all but my house is very dog-centered and dog-focused. A spoiled cat just may not like that, especially since she will eventually have to go outside to do her business. My house is too small for a cat box. This is a nice cat and I was amazed that they couldn't find anyone else to take the poor thing for them for just a year. Her name is Susie and she is the litter mate to my cat, Cody. She's a lot prettier though!

She is very frightened and confused and hisses and growls whenever you look at her. We are just ignoring her though and I bet she settles down. She likes to sit on the back of the couch.

I didn't know exactly how the furniture would turn out since I special ordered it (and trust me, it was "special!"). I was pleasently surprised! Not only does it look nice but it's very comfortable too! The chair is a little huge but the couch fits perfectly. I just need to get used to the new look I think.

Bridger, testing out his new chair and giving it The OK

My nieghbors, who left back for the States today, gave me this blanket and it goes perfect on the back of the couch! Ella declared the new furniture "wonderful" and "okay". In her mind they mean the same thing I think...

I'm very happy with this furniture because it is just so me! Vinyl for my dirty dogs (hope their toe nails don't tear it though...), black and not too gaudy. I am going to get smaller wooden shelves so my house doesn't look so Ugandan. Africans tend to like to PACK their furniture into their houses and I'm hoping to avoid that look.

My livingroom does look a bit smaller but with carefully arranged wooden bookshelves and some of my clutter dejunked it shouldn't be too bad. Some friends gave me a smaller wooden coffee table so that really helps. Funny but for the last 3.5 years I have been just fine with all the wicker in my house. Now I think it just looks gaudy and cheap! We are also hoping to replace our huge, gaudy wicker diningroom chairs with some smaller wooden ones. Mom and I are really on a redecorating kick! But I really like it because I've never been able to furnish my own house before and everything in this one will be things that I like.

Bridger thinks that the black vinyl goes better with his shiny black coat, too.

Praying for you guys

To the Spronks and Langendoens : I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your baby daughter/niece/granddaughter and sister, Cora Grace. I am praying for you all, especially Tanya who can't be with the rest of you at this time. You are all in my prayers.

Recent and Current Big Happenings

So, some personal things of interest (or not ;) that I would like to update the world with.

1. Sanyu got spayed a couple of Saturdays ago. It cost 60,000 Uganda Shillings which is about $40. This included the operation and pick up and delivery. Can you believe it? I'm not sure why all expats don't spay thier dogs at this price and convinience. Sure beats a litter if unwanted pups. The vet is coming today or tomorrow to take her stitches out. She's been an excellent little patient.

2. I am getting new furniture!! My house is gonna have a whole new look in a couple of weeks. I have been renting it furnished from the organization that I work with and since I will soon be renting directly from the landlord, the furnishings are going, as is a pretty good chunk of the rent (yippee!). I have wanted a "real" couch - not the cheap wicker stuff that looks nice but wears out after a year- and this has been the motivation that I needed. Mom has encouraged me as well, to get some nice stuff, even if it involves shopping (I hate shopping).

So Sunday the three of us (Me, Mom and L) headed out to look at furniture along the road and ended ordering a 5' 9" couch and chair in black vinyl. I needed the couch a bit smaller than the usual because my living room is small. The furniture should be done either today or tomorrow and I am really excited!

I am also buying four wooden bookshelves to replace the wicker ones that I have, and was given a wooden coffee table. I am excited for the new look! I have been getting a bit of "cabin fever" lately - It's been 3 1/2 years since I was last back in the States and I'm really ready to get off this darned continent and have some fun! I'm just ready for a little break and change. We'll be going to Montana next year for a 3 or 4 month visit and let me tell you, I'll be more than ready! Life is good here but I could use a little change...

3. We are getting ready to leave for Kenya on Friday. Our Branch conference is held there every year and we have to go. The cost is austronomical and I feel that it is morally wrong to spend all that money every year to get together at a resort, but that is just the way it is. It rankles me however that I am FORCED to do something that I don't think is right. Ella will have a BLAST however - she has been talking about riding on an airplane for weeks now, even though I haven't really been talking about it! We pick up and deliver so many people to the airport though that I guess she just figures that it's her turn. She still prays for her Grandpa in the airplane even though I've told her time and time again that he made it back to Montana!

Some Pictures

I'm going to try to post some of my favorite pictures of "The Child" that have been taken in the last month. PLEASE NOTE HER HAIR!! Poor little tyke - once her hair was barely long enough for anything I pounced on it with rubberbands and have been fussing with it ever since. This is her second week I believe, of having her hair "done". I can't believe how long it took her for her hair to grow out just this little bit!

I am learning that the more little "snorks" (Halland word) that she has, the better it stays in. Last due was 28 1/2 of the little things :)

Granny and Grandpa brought Ella her own little pool - she loves it!

"Where's my saddle, pony and gun?" says the little Montana cowgirl!

Matching - we do this a lot, try to match. Ella LOVES it and I kinda like it too... ;)

Ahhh....

Ella and Jorum, the little boy she's grown up with in the orphanage. Please PRAY FOR JORUM if you think of it. An American family that I know is trying to adopt him but the orphanage is making it difficult. It is sickening the way these children are used to make money - the more children you have in your orphanage the more money you can get. It is so sad to see these vulnerable children taken advantage of.

Ella proudly showing off a new batch of snorks, with her beloved doll, Ninnypikkin's

This is one of my all time favorite pictures - Ella and Tara. Tara's parents were a LARGE reason that Ella and I are still with the organization that I work with. Her dad was my supervisor and very supportive of L's adoption. The family just moved back to Ireland, which is sort of sad and depressing :( We will miss the entire family.

L in her cowboy hat and horse shirt that her Aunt Tee Tee gave her :)

My baby girls :)

Back to work

I had fully intended on posting some pictures of "The Child" from the last month but alas, blogspot is having some techinical difficulties and can't upload pictures. Uh oh... sounds familiar! So I guess I'm going to skip photo's (which is why I have a blog in the first place!) and give you all a facinating update on my return to work.

I started back last Thursday but this was my first full week of being back to work. I LOVE working only 6 hours a day and going home at around 2pm instead of 5pm (I don't take a lunch break). I really do think that I get more accomplished this way - a full 8 hour work day just gives me more time to dink around (which I'm kind of doing right now, but...) and I think I'll get my jobs done quicker knowing that I don't have until 5pm to work.

So consultant checks started last Friday with our consultant, Waller, and the Lugungu translation team. They were joined Tuesday by the Lubwisi team. With Waller here and the last checks of the fiscal year being carried out (a check is going on in Mugulu too, with the Lunyole and Lugwere teams) that means that I can revise plans for next years translation and consulting schedule since we now know what will have been finished from this year. Try coordinating the work of eight different translators and two consultants and see how easy it is!!

In the midst of this the Aringa team came down for help with thier FY09 budget and some other financial things. Since my supervisor, the Language Programs Manager, left, Yours Truly is left being the "knowledgable" one about all of this stuff. Scary!! Luckily my colleauge, Gift, has helped with it too so I don't have all of the responsibility but let me tell you, I don't like being the "expert" on something that I have so little experience and knowledge about! Add that to the fact that I'm a complete MORON when it comes to numbers and you can see my lack of confidence. Between the two of us we've fumbled along and the Aringa team is going back today with a budget draft and knowledge about how to do some other finance things. Whew. What a first week back!

The Ellster is doing all right with this new change of schedule. She's had more difficulty than I thought she would but her faithful Gran says that it's getting easier for her. She is NAUGHTY after I leave and gives her Granny a hard time, just pushing limits and seeing what she can get away with. She's a little angry as well. Well, you have to know my Mom but there is no way that her limits will be pushed, nor will she be controlled by a mere 3 year old! This is actually a comfort to little L because it just about makes her crazy when she's allowed to control an adult, although that is what she always wants to do. She can be a little pissy with me when I get home - I think it makes her a bit angry when I leave her. All in all it is working out well though and I am glad to be back to work. Come to find out it has been really nice that I had 3 months to stay at home with her and look, I did survive!

I could babble on and on about Ella's progress. It is just a bizarre thing to take a 3 year old and try to help them change and modify behaviors that have enabled them to survive for the last 3 years in an institution. What is really frusterating is most people just see a cute, happy, charming, large three year old and think I'm crazy that I have concerns about her and try to control some of her "cute" behaviors. That is why I am SO GLAD that my mother is here. She can see that these "cute" behaviors are a result of institutionalization and that I'm not just a bitchy mother. Although at times I do just feel like an overcontroling, bitchy mother and want to just let Ella loose to act however she chooses. So what if gets herself wound up and freaks out in the end? Ack!! Then I'm disgusted with myself because I spend so much time caring what other people think about me.

Have a happy 4th of July everyone!! We are celebrating it tomorrow since I had to work today. Yes, I know that's lame, celebrating the 4th of July on the 5th, but hey, it's better than nothing!

Places you don't usually find a three year old...

I’ve come up with quite a list of all the places that Ella has been since she came home 3 ½ months ago. These are the “odd” places where 3 year olds don’t normally end up.

Police station (filing a report on my missing drivers license)

Waiting at High Court for the judge to show up. Think busy, professional people like lawyers in suits bustling around, then Ella sitting in the midst of them eating a banana and playing with her hankie.

Judges chambers – think solemn looking judge and professional, pregnant lawyer presenting our case with Ella sitting on a couch playing with her hands

Lawyers office. Again, I just don’t put lawyers and children together in my mind!

Finance Management Course at work with about 20 adults, and Ella snoozing on a couch in the back, clutching her baby doll

UTODA offices in Kitoro, paying our parking fine (LONG story about that – material there for it’s own entire posting!)

Drivers license place in Kampala where we stood in various lines for 1 ½ hours while she amused herself by talking, dancing, playing with the zippers on my bag and of course, playing with her hanky.

Meetings with my supervisor in his office while Ella sits on my lap and plays with her hands or sleeps. So far I am the only one I know in our organization who does this to their child.

Meeting with three other folks from our organization and a spokesman for a Cultural Trust formed for a people group who want to work with us on translation and literacy, while Ella sits on a couch buried in pillows and reads her books

The offices of the New Vision (newspaper) where I was placing an add in the paper for my missing drivers license (Had to do this before I could file a police report)

A big Catholic Martyrs Shrine where a bunch of Christians were martyred in the 1800’s

( I have no idea why the bullets won't work on this thing!)

As you can see, Ella goes pretty much everywhere with me. She’s a pretty portable kid with a pretty strong bladder. Of course dehydration really helps foster the dry pants department. I should probably be a little more careful about that… Wouldn’t want her brain to dry and shrivel up or anything J. L’s a trooper!

The places where I have made “other arrangements” for her are when I went to the dentist and to the U.S Embassy. I would of taken her with me to the Embassy but I had a British friend who didn’t mind watching her. Interestingly enough, middle to upper class Ugandans, like you find in Kampala, don’t take their kids out much. You rarely see little kids at the big grocery stores in Kampala and especially any of the places mentioned above. Seems they are usually left home with nannies. Whole different lifestyle than we in Montana are used to!

To mark the anniversary of her 12 week home, Ella attended her 8th birthday party. Last Sunday they had a cake and candles for a little girl at Sunday School. Ella’s eyes just light up at the mention of cake or candy. It is pretty funny because she is such a chunky child and is always the first in line for cake or anything else sweet. She’s naturally not a very forceful person, unless cake is involved :).

Thus far Ella has been to Jinja three times, Mbale and Busiu once (both in eastern Uganda) and to western Uganda, by Queen Elizabeth Nat. Park, once. And people say that having a kid will tie you down?? Whatever!! Not a kid with a strong bladder...


Ella with the other participants of our organizations "Finance Management Course" which was held in May. Ella was the only kid. She's now in charge of managing the families money...

Ella with her Aunt Kathryn, Uncle Gift and Ms. Diana at the Martyrs Shrine in Kampala